Thursday, December 13, 2007

That Spam and This Spam


So last night, when an email from an unknown sender arrived, like 99% of the daily emails I receive, my smart hand went on the auto-deletion path without consulting my brain. A moment later I remembered having caught a glance at my name in that email, which was spelled wrong with an extra 'e,' and I went for a second look in the trash folder. The email, as it turned out, came from an international literary magazine that wanted to pay $250 for my essay they were publishing. It – the email, not my essay – had "bank details" in its subject line, a perfect spam title.

I empty the trash everyday. My husband does it once a month. Who's the smart one?

Ten minutes earlier, I had found on Laila Lalami's blog a hilarious author scam story and emailed the link to my husband. We were sitting across a coffee table from each other by the fire, a laptop on each one's lap. "Read it," I said to him. He temporarily broke away from whatever code he was writing, and clicked his inbox. "I didn't get anything from you," he said. We waited for a while. Still nothing. "Check your trash," I said, and he found it there right away. He had deleted it the first thing as he opened his inbox. He blamed me, "Why did you title it 'funny'?" Because it was.

Apparently the spammers have used up all the common title vocabulary.

On a side note, when I was young in China and meat was scarce, a can of Spam made a favorite dish. We cooked it in cabbage soup, and it was delicious. Or so I thought until I came to America. One day a few years ago I bought a can – after forgetting about it for two decades – from a supermarket in Chinatown. The Classic Spam looked exactly the same, and with a certain nostalgia, I cooked it in cabbage soup, exactly the same way from my childhood memory. It tasted so awful I ended up dumping the entire pan of soup. Not sure which was changed, Spam or I.

If you did not already know, here is the history of how that Spam devolved into this spam.

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P.S.: For your entertainment, here's a partial list (sorted alphabetically) of spam titles came this morning:

· A Beach Bum Made $237,000 from His Lap Top
· A realistic $250K First Year Income potential.
· Add up to 4 inches to yours penis 3d45
· Are you a real man?
· belief notwithstanding
· BIG CAS1N0 Party BIG JACKPOT CA$H DOLLARS!!
· bissette
· Celebrate a New Year with an unforgettable night of love!
· Cheap and excellent software - too good to be true?
· cheap oem soft shipping //orldwide
· Christian Values Company Expanding Nationally
· Corel Draw
· Estelle Aubrey
· Exquisite Replica
· Find financial aid for your online education
· For xje
· Grow an anaconda out of your trouser snake!
· Intensify her sensations by increasing your love stick!
· Last night, for the first time ever, a porcupine showed up at our
· Lowest price worldwide
· Msn money
· No doctor visits
· No Erectile Dysfunction
· PharmaStore
· Prove that you deserve better s'e_x!
· punch parishioner
· Rep|icaWatches OmegaRolexBreitlingBvlgari GucciLongines & all at LOW-PRICE... 2jsfgg2j3omz71vezs
· Shop and compare coverages
· Software
· SOLD OUT -LIMITED OFFER-Looking for perfect gift? Buy Rolex 1ia
· The Sexiest Gift for Your Music (Lover)
· The volume of your male meat is absolutely essential!
· Tiiiiiiw
· Via.gra Email from ED.
· You won't need to furtively put socks into your trunks anymore!

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